Have you ever noticed that super models look like stick figures while porn stars do not? Do men read Vogue or Playboy? Well, why do we all try to look like super models?
If your man says your butt looks big in those pants, unless he is gay, it isn't an insult. Alternatively, if he says your ass looks nice in those pants, what he means is that it looks big and he likes it.
You are much more beautiful then you think you are.
If it isn't funny, don't laugh at it.
Want to get your man to stick around forever? Don't stoop to having babies, just... mom don't read this... Turn that exit only, into open for business.
If your man doesn't want to hear about your period, simply remind him that it means he is not a daddy.
If you think your best friend might be into your man, tell her about how much you love his stinky feet, the way he picks his nose and nightly dutch ovens.
If your man has been playing video games for 6 hours and you want his attention, don't yell at him or smash his game system, strip down and start cleaning the room he is in... Trust me, he WILL log off.
Don't get mad at your man for watching porn, watch it with him.
I now reference the favorite video of every man I know:
Don't get mad at your man for masturbating, they start doing it as soon as they discover it is there.
Don't ask him if he was thinking of you, because you won't like the answer, he was probably thinking about porn.
Don't try to change your man, because you can't. You need to remember how much you love him and move his socks from the coffee table to the hamper. No amount of nagging will change a thing, but a significant amount of nagging will leave you single. You might as well buy a pretty basket and keep it in the living room!
No comments:
Post a Comment